MY real life friend Colleen and I were talking about I don’t know what (there are many messages and voice notes all day) and the topic of Colleen The Musical came up. “That will be joyful,” said RL Colleen. And she was right.
Colleen The Musical is not for theatre snobs. It’s for everyone who wants a fun night out, something joyful, yes. If you want to roar with laughter with those around you, it’s for you. If you want to recognise people you know, or even yourself, and you can take a joke, book your tickets. And especially if you are a long-time Marc Lottering fan who is familiar with his characters.
Colleen the cashier is obviously the star of this show, played by Marc. Jirre Bronwyn (Jill Levenberg) is there too, as is Aunty Merle. Gosh, I haven’t seen her for ages; she hasn’t changed a bit.
Colleen and Bronwyn are cashiers, and Bronwyn is about to get married. She wants Colleen to be her bridesmaid but Colleen wants nothing to do with the wedding, or romance in general. You can’t get your heart broken if you don’t give it away in the first place. And guys don’t go for girls who look like her anyway. Then Craig (Anzio September) bets his leather jacket that Randall (Carlo Daniels) won’t ask Colleen out on a date so he can film it for TikTok.
So that happens, and they go on a fabulous date, but in true rom-com style, Colleen learns the truth and she is devastated. Elsewhere, supervisor Tracey Boonzaaier (Kate Normington) has the hots for shop manager Tommy (David Chevers) but his interests lie elsewhere, and that’s not the only secret he’s keeping.
As it says in the title, it’s a musical, so there is singing and dancing to stitch it all together. We were particularly impressed by Sasha Nkonyana, just wow. Marc wrote and composed all the songs (Magic, which opens act two, composed by musical creator Charl-Johan Lingenfelder). On a stage full of talent, I’m also going to single out the poignant Joker In The Pack, performed by Randall. So beautiful.
If you know where to look on social media, you’ll find pics of the final scene, but try not to do that. It’s a fabulous reveal, and so pretty. Don’t spoil it for yourself. On the night we attended, it was Marc’s birthday so there was one more surprise when his longtime friend Siya Kolisi came up and gave a little speech that brought an emotional tear to even the baddest baddies’ eyes. Very special to be part of that too.
- Colleen The Musical runs until 7 February 2026 in the Pam Golding Theatre at the Baxter. Tickets via Webtickets.
- Suitable for 12+ years.
- For block bookings and fundraising enquiries, email carmen.kearns@uct.ac.za
